After 2 Weeks of Silence

Monday, February 12, 2018

In The Name of Allah Most Gracious The Most Loving

Allah is The Best Planner (8:30)
(Verse 30, Surah Al-Anfal)

I have been away for 2 weeks from my normal routine of updating this blog. I am having a transition process in my life which I surprised myself that it happened. I never thought it would be like this.

Hence, the delay of updating blog which sometimes I refuse to do just because things don't go the way I wanted it to be. However, I cannot back off. Because this is what I had promised myself to do in order to be much more closer to Allah.

Somehow I felt Allah is putting me in a situation where I'll be crying, lost, heartbroken, empty and so much more. I have come to a point in my life where I thought I'm doing something that "this is what I want to do and this is what Allah has permitted me to do". 

When I felt that "yes! this is it", little did I know that there will be more tests coming.

The thing is the situation of being tested itself is more tiring than I would have ever imagined.

I feel bad for myself for not being able to commit to my writing for 2 weeks. I gathered all my might to write and start again today. Tho I still feel at my lowest point, and sometimes I self-loathed myself.

Even so, to calm myself down is to always to go back to Our Lord, Our Creator. To pray and to cry out loud only to HIM. Seriously I was sobbing hard and I thought that my life is ending but I hold on to one thing, faith.

Faith is what keep me going where I believe this is what it means by wanting to get closer to Allah. To be put in tests, to cry, to seek help, to pray even harder to HIM and at the end of the day, Allah will let us see the reasons behind all tests, Allah will put back the smile on our faces knowing that we are strong enough to get over the tests with HIS guidance.

Please make duaa for me and may we have the courage, the patience and the strong willpower to strive through all this, inshaaAllah.

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