Thoughts

Shed The Burden

Wednesday, March 09, 2016
Assalamualaikum.

Today I managed to shed off some old clothes and unworn clothes of mine to be given to charity. I feel light. As if the burden are shed off from my shoulders. I have been wanting to let go all a while a go but I didnt  work hard enough to find my own time amidst the busy everyday life schedule of a housewife.

But I did it. I did shed off some of my clothes. My closet looks neat and tidy.  I feel content. I feel light.

When I look back on what I did today, cleaning my closet, I imagine if I can shed off my burden in this world just as easy as that. Isnt it great? But I know it can never be easy. As known, this world is just temporary. We can never neglect what have been assigned to us in this world. As a servant, as a human, as a daughter, as a wife, as a mother and the list never ends. Our rights, other people's right on us and many more. We have so many things to do.

I am juggling here and there with myself and with the so-called burden that I have. To make it positive and more motivated, I change the "burden" to "challenge". Any challenge somehow can become a burden if the person is not able to finish it. And so do I. I always look at things as burdens and I tend to be negative towards it. It is hard. To change into something that I can take things positively and be patience towards it.

To mend broken pieces that I have before this is truly a hard work and I pray/ed a lot that Allah s.w.t will always help me go through it till the end.

Pray for me!
The Late Marwan

Are You There? I Am Still Here

Monday, March 07, 2016
Assalamualaikum Marwan.

I found myself crying over memories of you. 

I used to tell all my stories and worries to you. Till one time I stopped doing that thinking I can survive on my own but I was wrong. I dont get the chance to spend our time together talking non stop about our worries, dreams, new things that we learned, hopes and the list never stops. Right Marwan?

I realized I tend to keep lots of things to myself and I found it hard to let it out because I hardly have the strength to tell all without crying. Remember whenever we talk, I'll cry at the end of the line?

No one knows how big your impact in my life was. BIG enough till I always feels the pain in the chest for not being able to let everything out. Suffocated enough that I always cry thinking of how much I miss you. 

Never one day I miss of sending my gift to you; Al Fatihah Marwan. Never I miss a day. I hope you get all my gifts everyday and you will be happy and loved there Marwan. I really do.

Allahurabbi, Allahu Ya Rahman, I miss this servant of yours dearly. Dearly I miss...

Muhammad Marwan bin Mazlan | 1990-2014
Al - Fatihah