Monday, August 23, 2021
8 TIPS ON HOW I ACE MY 1ST PREGNANCY DURING FINAL YEAR BACHELOR'S DEGREE. HOW DID I OVERCOME IT?
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
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| Bachelor's Degree Convocation April 2016 |
Looking at the above picture, made me felt surreal as this was taken during pre-covid time. Little did we know about covid to be in our lives 4 years later. I have completed my Master's Degree (April 2021) but the convocation ceremony seems far from my reach, not to be conducted even. I might only be receiving my scroll through courier. Maybe yes.
Nevertheless, I would like to reminisce on my experience carrying my first child during my final year bachelor's degree. How did I overcome it? Thinking back on those times made me smile as I'm typing this. There were numerous changes of feelings that I felt in a day and I was grateful to be able to go through those days blessed with beautiful souls to help me.
I got married in 2014 during my final year bachelor's degree. I was still a student while my husband has already started his career. I didn't really see this coming as I planned to have kids after I graduated and have my own career. Even so, I was grateful for this blessing. I was at first, nervous. I was afraid if I had to repeat a paper or a semester as my delivery due date was during the final weeks (final submissions/presentations, etc) or the hectic weeks we called it. On top of that, I was having a long-distance relationship with my husband at that time where he was living in another area and I was living with my housemates. We would have dates every so often and during the weekends, we would go back to our hometown. We started living together during my 3rd trimester. Imagine the additional challenges as my husband couldn't be close to me during my early trimesters of pregnancy.
Was it hard? DEFINITELY MINDBLOWN. It was to that extent where I wanted to quit my study as it was too hard and I had trouble in managing my sickness. I didn't have knowledge on pregnancy while studying so I had no one to refer to. I did my own readings and trying to adjust few things as I can no longer be as active and free as I was.
Here are some of the things that I learned with pregnancy while studying and I believe I could not do this alone without help from other people.
1. GOOD RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY CLASSMATES
I have spent most of my early years with my bachelor's degree classmates even before I met my husband. They were my everything. We studied together, we shared lots of stories together, we spent most of our days together and we were there for each other (I hope I was and sorry if I wasn't). We witnessed each other's blood, sweat and tears. They were amongst the happiest to congratulate me when I got married and when I announced my pregnancy, the girls especially always came to me to rub my stomach asking about the baby. I believe good relationships that I had with them, have helped me a lot during my pregnancy. They made way for me, helped me to get the foods and drinks, put me first in considering about my sickness, accompany me to the toilet many times as I had to vomit, always supported me during the presentations. Their prayers were what I was most touched with. There were amongst the first to come and pay their visits to the hospital to visit me and my son. They were literally everything to me.
My advice, be good to people and pray for their wellbeing. The angels hear and will pray the same for you.
2. ALWAYS COME BACK TO YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR COMFORT
My husband and my families were the ones who have helped me tremendously. When I broke down and had my episodes of feeling not worthy or afraid, I would always go back to them for comfort and their words soothed me and uplifted my spirit to finish my study, graduate and make them proud of me.
3. DO NOT MAKE PREGNANCY AS AN EXCUSE. MAKE IT AS A REASON TO PERFORM BETTER
I have heard some stories from my lecturers where there were some skeptical going on to students who got pregnant while studying--some of them simply just quit and some gave endless excuses because of the baby. I definitely didn't want to be another student on history with not a good impression. I challenged myself to perform better, to show up to classes and consultations in sickness or in tiredness while carrying a baby. I didn't make my pregnancy as an excuse of not studying or giving my best, rather I made it as a reason for me to excel in my study and to graduate on time with my friends. I would like to tell the story to my kids where I can proudly say, "I carried you in my womb for 9 months while going to classes and I graduated well. I didn't give up. I gave my best."
4. READ A LOT ON PREGNANCY AND PARENTING
I know that I will not be able to through my pregnancy smoothly without knowledge. Apart from asking around from my mother, my sister, dear families and friends, I equipped myself in reading about pregnancy and parenting. I browsed and read a lot of blogs, articles and have noted down on important things. I bear in mind up until today that whatever that I have read, consumed and heard, I can apply to my children but if some are not working, I'll have a pass on that. Why? Because only parents know their child better and what really suit them.
5. PREPARE A SCHEDULE (AS YOU'LL NEED REST IN BETWEEN)
My study schedule didn't change that much. It was still the same. The only difference was because I had sickness in between and I'd rather stay at home to rest and didn't manage to really hang out with my friends. I prepared a study schedule so that I was able to complete my assignments on time. My friends helped me a lot in discussions and delegations of tasks. On assignments, mostly I started early, small but consistent in meeting the deadlines given.
6. KEEP YOURSELF ACTIVE, POSITIVE, HAPPY & MOTIVATED
My 1st pregnancy was not really a bad ones as I only had morning sickness for few days on certain weeks on each trimester. Most of the times especially during my 1st trimester, I was still active moving around, be positive, stay happy and motivated as my goal was to GRADUATE ON TIME. It was such a happy feeling knowing that I was not alone, I had a baby inside me accompanying me in all classes and in my journey in seeking knowledge. The most important part was, never skip doctor's appointments!
7. NEVER ENDING PRAYERS AND DUA'AS
This journey of making dua'as and prayers for my baby was definitely a precious memory that I'll keep close to my heart. I never knew that I would go far from what I used to do in praying for someone who was not yet born but actively moving inside me.
Make lots of dua'as while walking to classes, while waiting for your lecturer and to always pray for your smooth journey in studying as well as in delivering the baby.
8. ENJOY THE JOURNEY
Yes, definitely! Enjoy your journey in pregnancy while studying. It's double the joy for me! Happy mother indirectly will have affect on the baby and the pregnancy--happy pregnancy, happy mother, happy baby!
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| Fateh Purnama when he was 6 months old on my Bachelor's Degree 2016 Convocation Day |
"IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A KID."
Heard this phrase many times before? I do. Always. I thanked my aunt, Achik's family, my cousin Izyan and husband, Imran my cousin and my in-laws who came to my convocation (attended on behalf of my parents who went to Turkey on that day). I will forever thank my parents and my siblings and everyone for their endless prayers and support. My parents, siblings, Fateh and I had a picture together at a studio a day before their flight to Turkey. Alhamdulillah.
Thank you for your time reading. InshaaAllah see you in the next post!
Love always,
AliahMazli
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Salam !
Writing is a way that I can express myself and be connected with other people. Thank you for taking some of your time here--my blog, my space. I hope you benefit something from it.
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