Monday, October 24, 2016

May Allah S.W.T showers us with HIS blessings and barakah.

I believe in handling all matters with the fullest dependence of Allah which I am sure that is where the barakah is. Jujur, saya sangat meletakkan pergantungan penuh saya kepada Allah. Sedang saya sendiri waktu itu dalam proses mengenali diri, memperbaiki diri, menyibukkan diri dengan pelajaran dan usrah serta program yang memerlukan diri saya dan masa saya yang sepenuhnya. 

After I gave him my answer, I gave him all contact numbers of my family members where approachable. My Grandpa, my grandma, my father, my mother and my sister. I told him to choose and decide directly with the family as I don't want any waste of time if he deals with me one-on-one. I learned to maintain my distance (which is hard because my beliefs in relationship is different than this one which I want it to be much more involvement of the family). Other reason why it is hard because I prayed and prayed for a relationship to start after the akad. It is soooooo hard for me at first! But I wanted something that will last (inshaaAllah) and to start a relationship which I can do so many things with my partner without worrying about Allah's hatred in a relationship with no purpose. So I set my purpose.

To get married to get Allah's blessings and barakah.

I told my husband that the highest hierarchy is of course my father but my grandpa is still healthy and our family will usually talk to him first mainly regarding on matters like this. 

After few months of giving him the contacts.

I got a call from my grandma saying there was a man coming to her house to meet her and my grandpa to talk about me.

That's it! He is serious. I let him do. I let him decide. Tho there were issues with my family and his family at first, but alhamdulillah everything went well. 

There were tears on the phone for almost everyday with my mother, my aunts, my close friends and there were other issues that I had to handle. Imagine having to handle so many things while studying. I do have my doubts back then when I thought of cancelling everything and just focus my study and future career but as much as I want to forget, Allah's plan is above all and I can't escape.

13 October 2013.

I got engaged. The first time he came in to see me which my aunt enthusiastically asked him to really look at me first before him and his family excuse themselves. I was totally freaked out only my cousins know how sweating my palms were!

Ramai yang tanya, dugaan sangat ke bertunang ni macam yang selalu orang canangkan?

Ya. Sangat dugaan. Apatah lagi tidak berkenalan/berhubungan. Terus diikat. Memang rasa mcm suffocated pun ada. Menyampah pun ada. Tapi itulah ujiannya. Nak tengok sejauh mana bergantungnya kita pada Allah dan terus menerus berdoa yang mana berdoa itu sangatlah mustajab sangatlah power. Kita je kadang tak berapa nak berdoa. Rugi tau!

I prayed hard and I studied hard. There were times I felt of cancelling everything and I still don't know how I managed to survive and be that tough through those times.

All I can say, banyakkan berdoa. Sibukkan diri. Sibukkan belajar/membaca tentang rumahtangga dan bermacam. Persiapkan diri sebaiknya. After all, be into marriage life is not a game where you can start and end whenever you like. But marriage is a lifetime commitment that we want to be long enough until Jannah. 

Sebab masa dekat dunia tak akan pernah cukup. Mesti nak bergembira bersama keluarga dekat syurga juga kan? 

Semoga Allah ampuni segala dosa kita dan letakkan kita semua dalam orang yang Allah redha.

The duration of engagement is agreed to be one year / two. Whichever comes first. 

What I did not know was, the date is nearing and I was preparing for my final exams. 

It's a nightmare. 

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