Wednesday, June 25, 2014
TUHAN, BERI SAYA PELUANG KEDUA
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
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| by AliahMazli |
Terdengar ketukan yang kuat seolah dihempas. Lebih tepat lagi bunyinya seperti senjata yang selalu dipegang oleh pegawai penjara dan digesel di pintu sel.
Dadaku terasa penuh debar. Peluh memercik. Berombak nafasku menahan gelodak rasa yang tidak dapat untuk dibendung. Aku terasa kalut. Terasa takut. Tidak tenang. Seolah bumi dan seluruh isinya dihimpit ke atasku, di kiri kananku.
"Aliah Athirah!".
Panggilanku namaku tiba. Giliran aku.
Ya, giliran aku untuk dibawa ke mana pun aku tidak pasti.
Gelisah. Itu rasa yang aku rasa tidak tepat melainkan ada kata baru yang benar-benar dapat menggambarkan perasaan aku ketika itu. Aku diseret keluar. Wajahku berpeluh. Aku panik. Aku meronta untuk dilepaskan namun itu semua harapan.
Aku kini berada di hadapan tali gantung. Anehnya, bukan manusia yang bersama aku ketika itu. Seolah yang berada ketika itu adalah penjaga kiri kananku serta yang menghukum ku adalah Tuhan aku.
Aku melutut. Aku merayu.
" Allah, aku tidak mahu mati lagi".
"Allah, jangan matikan aku lagi".
"Allah, jangan ambil nyawaku lagi. Aku banyak dosa ya Allah".
"Allah, kasihanilah aku ya Allah".
"Allah, BERI AKU PELUANG KEDUA YA ALLAH".
Aku terjaga. Jam menunjukkan pukul 5 kalau tidak silap aku. Allah kejut. Bangun untuk menghadapNYA. Namun aku gagal.
Setelah diberi peringatan bahawa mati itu bila-bila sahaja. Aku masih lalai.
Berpeluh badanku. Itu baru mimpi. Andai tiba masa nanti, ingat Allah mahu beri peluang kedua lagi?
Petunjuk Tuhan yang paling terkesan. Aku hambaMU yang lemah Ya Allah.
Ampuni aku.
Ampuni aku.
Ampuni aku.
Redhakan keluargaku,
redhakan aku,
redhakan hidupku.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
"TREAT IT WITH CARE." SHE SAYS.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
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| by AliahMazli |
Sedang membaca artikel yang dicari, pensyarah berjalan mengelilingi kelas. Eh? Memantau perkembangan anak murid beliau untuk mencari maklumat yang akan dibentangkan pada minggu hadapan.
Beliau berjalan dengan lemah gemalai. Okay. Stop.
Beliau berhenti di hadapan saya. Beliau berkata. Eh kejap. Buat dialog lah.
Pensyarah:
What is this? Is it a book?
Saya:
No, it is not. (sambil tersenyum sipu malu dan cuba untuk fokus membaca artikel)
Pensyarah:
Then what is it? A pencil case?
Saya:
No, it is not Dr.
Kelas sunyi sepi. Saya memandang beliau dan beliau memandang saya.
Saya:
I have to put it on the table because I put my bag on the floor at my feet.
Pensyarah:
Then, what is it? Oh, it is your Holy Quran?
Saya:
Yes, Dr. It is.
Pensyarah:
Why do you have to put it on the table? Why you can't put it in your bag on the floor?
Saya:
Because it is a Holy Quran and we Muslims cannot put it lower than it should be. It should be placed on a higher place.
Pensyarah:
Oh, really? So you have to put it here. Is it a translation type of Holy Quran?
Saya:
Yes Dr. It is. In Malay.
Pensyarah:
I see. It is smaller than the usual right?
Saya:
Yes it is Dr. Smaller version. I mean, mini Holy Quran. It is easier for me to carry it around.
Pensyarah:
Do you use this for other subject? Islamic subject?
Saya:
No Dr. I bring it everyday with me.
Pensyarah:
Do you understand what the Holy Quran states? I used to read one but in English translations and I could not understand. It is a bit complicated to understand.
Saya:
I read it but if I want more explanation and understanding, I have to go and refer to Ustaz or those who are the experts in it. I myself cannot understand it on my own.
Pensyarah:
Ohhh, I see. It is somewhat like stories inside right? Many things are said in there.
Saya:
Yes it is Dr. (sambil tersenyum riang terasa mahu cium Al-Quran waktu itu)
Beliau hanya tersenyum kepada saya. Dan beliau berkata sesuatu yang buat saya tersentuh sentap apabila yang berkatanya adalah seorang Non-Muslim, a Chinese yang saya tak pasti agamanya apa.
" Very good. Treat it with care".
p/s: Sedang yang bukan Islam memberi pesanan supaya menjaga Al-Quran sebegitu, apatah lagi kita yang Islam. Adakah kita betul-betul menjaganya? Pandang lah dia, baca lah dan fahami lah maksud di dalamnya.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
TUDUNG MERAH JAMBU
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Bila Allah tak izin, ada hikmahnya.
There are times where things don't usually go as what we wanted / wished for. We hoped and somehow put the possibility of that "something" to happen on us--like we are the one who will make that happen.
Think back and istighfar. Allah is the one who MAKE things happen as HE pleasures.
None of the things in this world happens without any reasons plus if the leaves falls, there are reasons behind it. Allah who made that happen.
To you my dear tudung merah jambu,
Thank you. I know there must be a reason why Allah let you come and HE gave the permission for you to be there--close to me.
I am grateful for that. I love you fillah. Till we meet again inshaAllah dear tudung merah jambu.
O Allah, only to You I put all my hopes to.
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Writing is a way that I can express myself and be connected with other people. Thank you for taking some of your time here--my blog, my space. I hope you benefit something from it.
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